Slippery Slope

The non existence posts have been replaced with combination drugs and howling at the moon. I went to the emergency room to see if they could cut and suck this lump on my foot and was promptly told that they would not and by promptly I mean after 7 hours and the introduction of an ass-out-gown which I tied at the hip to provide modesty and flare.

The little pimple that made my toes numb morphed into a true blue abscess that shoots salty daggers through my entire body at a moments notice, like every time I breath or try to go to the bathroom by myself. It has been a bit of a miserable little existence. The sexiest words to me right now are "spontaneous rupture" or the no harm no foul version of the cut and suck method I've been siding with through this whole ordeal.

Upside? I learned during bath time that it makes my leg incredibly buoyant, also mom has provided me with a neo to go capsule that I can spray on tightening skin without actually rubbing lotion on anything.

I feel like one of those morbidly obese people one would constantly see on television, being cut out of their house and air lifted to a hospital. I can't walk, standing still for more than 10 minutes at a time is painful and the only thing getting a workout around here are my lungs when I've made a wrong turn in my newly formatted bed (for optimum foot raising options).

this is week two of what started out as itching skin that I had to sponge down and vacuum up every once in a while. Now I'm outsourcing all of my needs and whims on the family and gathering multiple idle threats for it since they aren't the Florence Nightingale types. But a positive outlook is the key I guess, at the end of all this I may be too fat to fit in any of my clothes but I might just be big enough to fit in everyone else's!



can you say medicinal haze?

The Technicality of Day 3

In two hours I will need to take more magical pills

can I just pause for a moment and express my love for Fefe Dobson?

oh and how I saw Simon Doonan at whole foods while on a fruit salad and parfait snack run, of course I stared like hick into the sun and tripped all over myself- yea I'm that girl.

anywho, my foot has been getting better, there's a blister on it that makes my toes go numb when i press on it but I'm counting it as the process, I'm also hoping my inner surgeon does not take over and slice it open to let the pressure (read: evil spirits) out.

Yesterday was Natasha's birthday, I wanted to be there but I'm not enough of an in control drinker to not drink in a bar if I'm feeling well, so it would have been a bad deal all around but I sent my best wishes and headed back home to continue my "regimen".

My ichat status read "meds a-plenty" and I got an instant message from Tatiana inquiring if I had a xanax hook up. What a fucking bottom feeder, you would think after not talking to someone for years and after multiple imposed failed attempts to "hang" that one would stop the crippling charade that we are any kind of cordial acquaintance.


I even resisted the urge to reply with something snide and undercutting


can you say growth?

Dr Feel Good

In a further attempt at self betterment I went to the doctor today, found out what I suspected before the 3 weeks ago when I made the appointment, which was that my foot is infected and heavy duty drugs are needed. I am honestly just happy she didn't consider lopping it off.

Erythromycin: an antibiotic
may cause diarrhea, vomiting, abdominal pain and other gastrointestinal disturbances. (yum yum)

fluocinonide: corticosteroid

couldn't really get much info on the adverse effects of this stuff but the good doc did tell me to keep it away from my eyes and to wash my hands after applying it so mom suggested I put it on with latex gloves.


all in all I've taken/applied two doses of each and all's clear, the early 20's invincibility sector of my brain won't allow me to think that the stomach trouble can treat me worse than bad bourbon so in a week or two I will be able to toast to good health!


can you say tip top shape?

Epic Fail

My cartoon ambitions have fallen by the wayside... most ambitions really- does anyone even read this thing?



can you say listless?

The Week Was Full and Everyone Knows It

So this week was pretty eventful, from my job interview that was entirely unbeknown to my interviewer to spending the wee early hours of Zach's birthday with him and yet another one of his canadian school brood.

Angels and Kings tuesday was filled with more people who don't mind having their picture taken than I have not since encountered since pride day. My Harajuku Lovers bag finally came today and I didn't have to verbally sodomize UPS to do it (for once). Full face worth it and I got it off Ideeli which is great because my main problem with designer things is that I can't afford a bag for 75 dollars when I know it probably took 8 dollars to make.

For about a week now I've been coveting the idea and reality of owning a ukulele or a uke as they are known in "the biz" and so I did a bit of research and got up and out with the intent of buying one but the store I went to was trying to give me the hard sell on something I did not want! So I trotted off with my 60 dollars completely ukuleleless which of course can only be akin to an absolutely travesty. I guess like most good deals, I'll have to settle this online.


can you say disconnected?

Sad Excuse for a Cartoon Saturday!

In the name of being true to form, a cartoon- badly drawn but very informative story of my ever loving life.

People to Stay Away From

The last two days have been filled with outlandish debauchery. Which is fun in small doses, like arsenic.




This is how the night usually starts, on the train, so full of hope and vigor and anticipation. What awaits ahead but a question mark. That look usually morphs pretty fast, especially when the people who invited you out in the first place dash the outing before you're even out of the Bronx.

With lemons like that I took my lemonade to USQ park to pal around with whoever will have me and there was a lull spot in conversations where we went separate ways. On my little voyage around the park I had an encounter with a distraught twenty-something who insisted on borrowing my phone, since I felt a slight karmic need to do better in general (and if she tried to make off with it I could probably take her) I handed her my beloved.

She called up a guy named Dave and left him a message, the nature of the one sided conversation made the impression that she needed space but the fact that MY phone is in her possession didn't allow that privacy. Her second call to this Dave person was a little more volatile, she called him an old wrinkly fuck and shouted at him about his small member.

Just when I thought things couldn't get more awkward she decides to call another guy named Danny, who apparently also doesn't think she's hot enough. The situation got really out of hand when she decided to start crying and flailing and the skaters in the background were complaining of their session being ruined.


My phone made it out of this ordeal unscathed but I am definitely done doing nice things and girls named Colleen are on my list of insta-crazies. I've met a few, they all seem to be a little off, what don't I know about this random person?



can you say awkward?

Lost Self

No good deed goes unpunished, like when you stay home for a week after a rabble rousing night of free booze and public urination. I lost my ID- a gut wrenching reality made painfully clear after trying to buy a pack of smokes.

Whenever I lose something I usually imagine it sitting in its hidden crevice, laughing at my frustration. It really doesn't help that I look twelve, but it's not my fault that "black don't crack". I can probably pass off an expired back up until it turns up, if it ever does.


I've looked everywhere and I really don't want to re-trash my room for it but I may have to.

There is also the nagging feeling that:

I will never work in this town again, and to a workaholic that really is just not an option.

That all my blatant promotion is really just going by the way side- if blogupp can't help me, who can?

I am getting older by the second and will soon be the lezzie version of a cougar.

can you say suck?

Sad Excuse for a Cartoon Saturday!

So to keep in a normal creative spirit and exercise the other side of my brain I will be implementing SECS! At the very least- feel free to express your immediate artistic competency...