I met R- girl through the only thing that actually provides me with social interaction (cbd) with the same sex. We laughed, and conversed- I spouted a dirty sentence in another tongue and she didn't cringe, (keeper obviously). She kissed me quiet, we took it further and she actually kept in touch (quite the first) and I thought this might be the one- so what she's leaving the country, touts vegetarian eateries and frolics about nature- I tried to hold on, but not too tight as I am oft prone but she cut the cord and made a run for it, like they all do.
I was called at the eleventh hour and given buzzwords like bond girl; sultry; mysterious. I was told to bring my camera and capture a young "entertainer" and schlep all the way to midtown in the middle of the night. I get there, with drinks and laughs but when it was time to get down to business- this was no bond girl and the only mystery was how was I going to make a lack of light and shiny fabrics look flattering on a newly pudgy frame. Four hours and 200+ frames later I was called an amateur (for not bringing lights) and ready to shoot off my big mouth before being yanked for a cig break, causing my target to escape unchastised - but hey I got paid right?
The rest of the weekend was spent working more than twice as hard for free- being drained of my control, opinions and general good nature. Both of these situations I learned way too much from, which is really the mark of growth right?
In a confusing romantic turn, I was actually pursued (for once) by a younger, poetic bisexual- shaky premises abound I remain aloof of this entire genre.
The birthday outing I had planned (barely) was washy at best. We hit up a clothing store doling out free booze and compliments for my new look
which was going well until Fernando's guest started throwing tantrums and Zach refused to show... I guess disappointed is to be expected in my old age.
So now I lay here, tweaking photos in photoshop/winning online game site badges/haphazardly working on my sweater and planning yet another new fashion awakening I can't help but wonder if all of my side projects are just a distraction for what I really want but am afraid I can never have.
can you say zonked?
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